Recently I received an invitation to attend church with a "friend."I don't want to go.
Yet, I am learning some very valuable lessons about the things one must do in order endure some tough seasons throughout life.
Don't get me wrong. Going to church is not the worse thing in the world. In fact, it can be a very beautiful experience. Yet, when the relationship with the one who has done the inviting has been extremely damaged, the issue of trust is very real.
I no longer trust the motive of the person who did the inviting. Maybe she is doing it as a way to extend an olive branch and because she does care. I get it. Yet, in going, I know I must be careful and mindful of such motives. Some very recent experiences have emphasized the value of being guarded as a way of protecting oneself in an effort to survive.
I am not comfortable in traditional churches. It reminds me of too much pain.
That's not to say that all people who go to church don't have good intentions - in fact, I think that most do. I just don't want to be caught up in a drama that includes an intense scrutinization by its actors. My memories of this type of socialization are not pleasant, nor do I have a desire to revisit them.
So, to keep the peace, I will go.
Maybe I can follow her and just drive my own car.
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